REVIEW MOTIVATION LETTER
Beberapa minggu ini saya sering diemail untuk membantu proofread tulisan, terutama motivation letter (motlet). Dari situ saya melihat cara/model menulis yang sama dari motlet-motlet tersebut.
Saya sendiri tidak tahu apakah saya berkompeten dalam menilai motlet-motlet tersebut. jadi mungkin lebih bagusnya kita belajar mereview bersama-sama.
I graduated from Vilnius Arts Academy with a Bachelors degree in architecture in 2010. Ever since I’ve been looking for a Masters program I could really relate to. “Inside” seems to be exactly what I have been looking for and believe my architectural background and my passions make me an ideal candidate for this program.
I like art. I have always been into it. I grew up in a family of artists (grandfather – musician and sculptor, parents – both graduates of arts academy). No surprise, I involved myself into the art world as well. I have always liked drawing, creating things, making unique accessories, clothes, even furniture. I loved Lego, constructing and decorating things, doing all sorts of creative activities.
At the same time I have always enjoyed mathematics and geometry. I’ve loved playing chess and other strategic games. I have developed not only artistic skills and vivid imagination but also a strong rational, analytical thinking and logical mind. That is why I chose architecture as my path – it combined both of my passions – creativity and logic, and in my opinion, these are the most important qualities for a good designer and architect.
During the study years I’ve managed to combine and improve my creative and logic sides and find a perfect balance between them in order to become a good designer. Studying architecture allowed me to reveal and develop my best traits and talents and improve my skills not only as an artist but also as a person. I am 100% sure that this is what I need to do in my life. I love working with spaces, colors, forms, textures, all in order to come up with the best designs. Though I have found myself always being more interested into inner spaces rather than outside.
The inside of every building is always much more exciting for me, it is closer to people and has a much more direct effect on them than the outside. It plays a huge role in everyday life of every human. Which is why I find it so fascinating to create it.During my four years of studying I improved not only my designing skills, but I also learned to work hard, focus and concentrate and balance my time and priorities in order to achieve my goals.
Now having a background of architecture and urban studies and strong personal traits needed for this career I am ready to take the next step and embark on the interior design. My architectural background also allows me to approach interior designing from a different angle. I know how important every detail can be, but I also know how to look at everything from a further distance and evaluate the context and I understand the importance of it. I see a design project not as an opportunity to reveal my artistic talents but more as a possibility to solve the problems and attend the needs of human and the environment. Though I am not saying “form follows function” – in my designs they always go side by side. And I think a great design is the one which helps people or the environment, improves it or fixes a problem and does it in a very tasteful and original way. That is always the goal of my designs and that’s what I think is Design for the Real World.
Interior architecture is the path I want to go. I know it is the right path for me and I know that with my background, skills and passions I am well prepared for it. I wish to study “Inside”, to deepen my knowledge and improve my skills even more, to get more experience and achieve a Masters degree before taking a next step into my career. I feel that I am very well suited for this program and I have the keen interest and dedication as well as passion and a strong background which I believe will lead me to achieve brilliant results at your academy.
Thank you for considering my application.
Sumber: postgraduateforum.com
Gimana menurutmu, bagus ga? sudah menjual belum? atau kamu punya cara menulis lain dalam membuat motlet agar lebih bagus dari di atas? menurutmu apa saja yang kurang dari motlet ini?
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Hi, Kiky Edward… So good for me to find your blog here… This is really useful for me. you wrote everything in detail. I’m not good on writing letter of motivation and I’m wishing to learn a lot from you if you don’t mind 🙂
Now can we review the motivation of letter above? So that i can study from you.
In my opinion, the introduction is quiet good, but the next paragraph it doesn’t tell us about what he is doing now, what is his achievement, i don’t see a clear goals for the future plans. I’m waiting to hear from you soon 🙂
hi anggia, you can see my comment below for this motivation letter review.
Menurut ku ya, tulisannya masih belum menyentuh tujuan dari dia memilih interior design. Di awal paragraf, dia menjelaskan tentang “inside” sebagai interior design yg ingin ia pelajari nanti di S2. Tapi pada paragraf berikutnya, argumennya kurang menguatkan pernyataan pada paragraf pertama, dia terlalu sibuk menjelaskan pengaruh keluarganya yg menjadikannya juga cukup familiar terhadap art. Saat dia berusaha mengorelasikan antara art dan logika, dia belum cukup menjelaskan kenapa interior design itu jadi pilihan yang paling pas buat studi lanjutannya.. Dia cuma menjelaskan kalau desain yg baik itu bisa meningkatkan kualitas hidup/menyelesaikan masalah. Tapi sebenarnya hal tsb juga diajarkan di arsitektur, yang membuat poinnya kurang “greget” utk meyakinkan pembaca kalau dia pantas studi lanjut di interior design.. gimana kalau menurut kaka qyuqyu?
betul banget. dan susunan info yang dituliskan tidak jernih. terlalu banyak personal voice, the assessor wont care about such things, they only care about your academic interest. however students often write it wrong, like in the context above, he often states his interest in academic, but every statement doesnt follow by an example, thus make it as empty words. other thing is, not all questions is covered. he doesnt state anything about why he wanna study in specific university, and how his choice picking interior design will do be the right path for his carreer development.
also sud organise the content. for example, bringing up a cool interior design issue as the opening of the first paragraph is the great way to start it, and followed by your reason why u wanna study the subject.
second paragraph can be about how your undergraduate study can support your future study, highlight every important course that related to your future study.
third paragraph is about your other skill beside academic, but still related in the field, like your participation in many related organization and activities,
fourth about your soft skill in leading, organising, communicating, all about how you gonna survive new vibrant and challenging academic life.
the fifth paragraph can be the reason why you choose the university, and how you see your future carreer work inline with this chance.
closing and thanking.
my strong suggestion is that on every motivation letter, do not sound too personal,make it sounds like professional voice. not too much I, dont begin sentence with I. do not tell personal story, or family related story.
In terms of explaining architecture and design, are we allowed to attach some graphics or diagrams to point out something? And, if in some cases we’d like to learn a specific subject but have not gotten any track of activities related to it, how are we gonna write it? Is the motivational letter only for the things we already did and found out if something is worth to learn? Or it could be another way around?
Salam sejahtera, Kak 🙂
Perkenalkan, nama saya Tessa mahasiswa tingkat akhir dari Bandung.
Saya sedang mempersiapkan dokumen untuk mendaftar ke Univ di Belanda.
Motivation letter sudah saya kerjakan dan saya sudah meminta koreksi dari 2 orang.
Apa boleh saya juga meminta kak Kiky untuk memeriksa motlet tersebut juga?
Jika boleh, apa saya boleh meminta alamat emailnya, kak?
Terimakasih sebelumnya 🙂